I may not fully be understanding your position, but I'd recommend the following: I "converted" to Messianic Judaism, from Evangelical Christianity, a few years ago while in college [I know, I know, that's not 'technically' possible, but for the sake of my question, just bare with me].
Stop being dramatic and spend time enjoy the holiday season with your family. They may not know how else to mend fences and express affection for you -- or just may not be ready to face whatever demons in their psyches that would help them to repair things with you -- but they feel guilty, and want to do something, and this may be how it manifests itself.
Judaism, like most religions, is flexible. And how do I politely refuse to "celebrate" their Xmas traditions that they'll try to impose on me, like stockings, and xmas-eve candle-lighting church service?
Purim is about getting drunk, Sukkot is about making a hut. Baruch Ata Adonai Elohaynu Melech ha-olam, she-ah-sah ni-seem la-ah-vo-tay-nu ba-ya-meem ha-hem baz-man ha-zeh.
You could talk to them about this beforehand, explaining their interpretation as a Christian would see them. I don't know see why you can't do both. I am christian and I am going to say this. Very little of it has any absolute religious meaning. I'd just like to say that I appreciate that you call yourself a Messianic Jew, and don't try to confuse the issue by calling yourself a Jew.
You're not especially observant. But he has learned as a Messianic Jew that God has fulfilled what he has promised. Figure out what's important to them, and do as much of them as you can.
Are they less because of her age, or because we disagree, or because they are not popular? God provided another miracle by making the small amount of oil last the entire eight days. Their youngest son, 10-year-old Zachary, described his faith best when he explained how school friends have a hard time understanding his beliefs.
It is the giving itself that is the point -- if you are someone I care about, and I know such and such a thing will make you happy, or you'll get a kick out of it or it's something fun you'll like, I'll give it to you. You shouldn't expect your family to celebrate Hanukkah; it's not part of their tradition.